Trying Everything

Self excluding and bet blockers like Gamban didn’t work for me either. Tbh and just my opinion but any tool that puts all the responsibility on the addict to stay clean doesn’t make much sense. We’re the ones with control problems to begin with. Why we think it all magically gets better cuz we put a couple road blocks infront of us is retarded.

I’m 33M. Today is my 183rd day gambling free, and I genuinely haven’t been this happy since I was a little kid. That’s with still dealing with bad credit card debt attached to my name from gambling. It all changed the day I was forced to come clean to my wife. From that day forward she mandated she monitor me or she was gone with our two little kids. We use an online service called deucerecovery.com, which simply changed my life. Does all the monitoring automatically for her so she doesn’t have to live with stress 24-7, and gave me the ability to prove im staying clean while building trust back into our relationship, which I get takes time.

Never before was I able to fight urges, I was so weak and completely controlled by my addiction. I gambled literally for 16 years straight, every moment when I got out of bed, when I went into the shower, when I went to work, when I got home, and when I went to sleep. Sports, horse racing, stock options/day trading, online casino… I didn’t discriminate. In the 16 years before I could never not gamble. Gamban, self excluding, lack of money, nothing stopped me and I always found a way. Until I knew my wife would find out very shortly after I slipped and she would hold me accountable. That’s been the only thing that’s helped me play out the scenario in my head anytime an urge comes, and allow me to say no.