I’m struggling to come to terms with how quickly it has all escalated.
In the past week I’ve lost $50k gambling with stocks. I’ve got addicted to seeing large green days, I got overly confident and put everything I had into the account and lost 40% of my savings.
I’ve now taken everything from the stock account back to my bank account. I plan on closing my stock account when the transfer is complete. I’ve had big gambling losses before and been addicted to slots. This feels similar but on a larger scale.
I take full responsibility for my actions. I got greedy. Then I got angry and wanted revenge. It hasn’t helped walking around with a mini slot machine in my pocket.
It doesn’t even feel real, am I dreaming I did this? I’m fortunate that I’m single so this impacts only me. And in the grand scheme of things I will survive. I feel like I need to talk to someone about it, it’s madness.
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I feel your pain. Never thought of it like that but you are spot-on “walking around with a mini slot machine in my pocket.” That is exactly what it is. Not sure about you, but when I see and hear about people making a bunch of money on stocks, options or crypto, I get major FOMO and feel like (a) I am getting left behind and (b) I’m an intelligent person, if so many people can do that, surely I can.
The couple times where I’ve lost a massive amount in a short time (I’ve lost over $800k in two separate occasions and I’ve lost over $100k in a day numerous times) I felt the same as you describe at first. Surreal, like in a dream. I’ve had almost list an out of body experience. By the evening when I get home to be with my wife and child, reality sets in and the shame becomes unbearable.
When I’ve lost big, I often feel like the universe conspired against me. I have trouble accepting that, I am fully responsible for the loss and I took a risk and it did not pay off. You taking full responsibility is very big of you.
I want you to know you’re not alone.