My addiction

I am 20 and 10 days ago I came clean to my girlfriend and parents after losing about 600 dollars, 300 of which was meant for bills for my flatmates I told myself it was ok because i could pay it in time with my own money from work, and i did but it was still so wrong. i simply couldn’t stop. I’ve reached out for help to gambling support services and i assume they will refer me to gamblers anonymous meetings so that i can have support there. i’ve got my dad to open a savings accounts so he can pay my bills and hold the majority of my money. I’ve downloaded Gamban and excluded myself from the online casinos i know of. I have also got rid of debit cards so that i do not have a card i can use online.

I recently have been looking at a lot of peoples story’s and documentaries and things and have become increasingly worried. This sounds terrible and I know i have the same problem with gambling but everyone’s story is worse than mine – they’ve gambled thousands and thousands of dollars of debt and relapsed multiple times once they get help (no shame, i’ve failed to quit before). I guess I feel this sense of inevitability, that that’s my path and i’m stuck on it because I won’t learn until that happens. I guess it makes me second guess myself, I have no desire to gamble at the moment ( not that i have any money to gamble) feel like i’m doing all the right things and taking notes and hitting this problem from all angles but there’s that feeling of doom in my mind that until my brain learns those lessons the hard way. Can i not just never do it again by doing all these things? are there people here who caught their problem before it got really really bad? I just never want to gamble or hurt myself or the people i love again.